The Several Snogs of Severus Snape
by 2NiCe4U
Summary: Severus Snape doesn't kiss and tell. A timeline of one man's kisses. Eventual SSHG.
1. Prologue

A/N: Just a funny idea that popped into my head. Snape lives, of course. Oh, and I don't own.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 1: Prologue

Severus Snape had always been an outsider. At school, at work; even in his own home, growing up, he had been in the background. That was not to say he didn't prefer his situation. It certainly kept most, if not all, idiots from bothering him. This all changed though, when his role as a spy for Dumbledore came to light, not long after the war against Voldemort ended. He was speedily exonerated from his various charges and shoved none-too-gently into the spotlight. It annoyed him, but it was also the price of his expedited freedom. No one would have cared for creepy, slimy Snape if he hadn't been of such great interest to the public. Currently there were three legitimate biographies and no doubt dozens of illegitimate ones being written at this very moment, exposing to the world the trials and danger experienced by the man only before seen as responsible for educating (and tormenting) two decades of potions students. No doubt each of them would be different, despite the same subject. Peace and privacy were what Severus craved, and fame afforded none of it.

Soon after people started speculating about his undercover job, others started to speculate about further aspects of his life, such as his home environment before school and his academic achievements throughout the years, unable to be patented and shared until now because of the risk that they would be seen as a deterrent to the Dark Lord's reign. Most of all, though, the question of his love life was pondered about.

Of course, thanks to Harry Potter, everyone knew he'd loved Lily. But many wondered on the extent of it, as well as whether the dark hero had ever had any other flame or at least a dalliance or two.

Some, like Ron Weasley, looked at the pictures of the sneering man pasted across the newspaper and laughed at the thought of anyone kissing that face, let alone more than that.

"He probably had to ambush women in the red light district," many would snigger.

Several women were attracted to the thought of the reformed Death Eater and Spy never getting in on the action that almost all wizards his age had been able to enjoy for decades. It led them to fantasies of showing him the ropes themselves. Severus found all of this ridiculous and hexed many a witch for trying to cling to him like a limpet before they got the message. Severus was a hero, but he wasn't a gentleman, and not afraid to hex a witch. From his experience, they were hardly helpless creatures.

He knew his own history, and he preferred to keep it from becoming world history. Many would laugh, cry and sigh at the potions master's love life if he ever told them.

That is why, dear readers, unbeknownst to the man, I will divulge it all to you.


	2. Petunia Evans

A/N: Oh, boy am I having fun! I hope you enjoy!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 2: Petunia Evans

Even as a child of ten, Petunia Evans was always inclined to be nosy. It didn't take long for her to see that her sister had made a new friend out of the lanky boy with the stringy black hair. He was unfortunate-looking, all odd angles and an overlarge nose. Still, he focused on Lily Evans with an intensity that made Petunia more than a little jealous.

Lily had always been the star of the family, from the rich color of her hair and eyes to the cute button nose on her face. Petunia already knew her younger sister was the favorite, even before her talent for that ghastly magic had manifested itself. If she felt more than a few sour grapes, it wasn't too unreasonable, was it?

And now, for this boy to be completely enraptured by her, with barely a passing thought for Petunia, it was enough to bring out the girl's shrewish side. If she wasn't catty, how else would she get attention?

Oh, there were other ways, but she didn't want to get into trouble by hitting the boy and then having to tell her parents it was because she wanted the attention. No, it would have to be in a way that was shocking, but something the boy wouldn't want spread around. Petunia smiled as the idea came to her. She planned to implement it soon.

They were at the rusty old weed-ridden park like always, and Lily thought it would be a great idea to play hide-and-seek once again, even when they all knew every crack and corner that one could possibly hide in by now. Of course the boy was always willing to do anything Lily wanted. Petunia smiled now though, as this could be her moment to implement her plan. She willingly claimed first seeker of the game. This was met with smiles from the other two and she almost feared that they would find a spot together. She closed her eyes and started counting.

When she was done, she only had to open her eyes and glance around to spot the vibrant red hair that was Lily's. She wasn't going to find her sister first this time though. After looking in a few likely spots with no luck, she finally found him behind a few bushes on the edge of the park.

"Gotcha," she muttered quietly to herself, sneaking up to him unnoticed. He seemed to be daydreaming.

When she was close enough, she swiftly grabbed him by the arm and pressed her lips sloppily against his. He quickly flinched back, his eyes wide as Petunia smiled, satisfied that she finally had his attention.

"W-what was that for," the boy sputtered, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm before glaring at her. Petunia frowned at the gesture.

"Because I could," she sniffed and walked away, realizing it was no good to try and get the boy's attention. He was already invested too deeply in her sister, and besides, she didn't think he was that interesting after all.

Years later, Severus smirked to think what the other Death Eaters might say if they knew that not only was his first kiss with a Muggle, but that it was stolen from him too.

A/N: More to come soon!


	3. Bellatrix Lestrange

A/N: Enjoy!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 3: Bellatrix Black

"Come on, Sevvie Wevvie! It's just one ickle ingredient! I'll give you something for it," Bellatrix tried her best to look suggestive, but the somber young man before her wasn't budging. He continued to read from the book in his lap. She started to pout. Everyone wanted a bit of Bellatrix these days. _Everyone_. She felt a bit insulted.

"You know that Slughorn keeps that particular ingredient locked up tight, and for good reason. He can't leave Ashwinder eggs lying about for students to mess with and make illicit love and lust potions with. There's no way I could get to it without getting caught, and if they knew what I was trying to steal, I could be expelled."

"B-but you're such a favorite with dear Sluggy. Wouldn't he, I don't know, turn the other way if he caught you? You're his best student!"

"I'm his best student because I don't resort to pitiable tactics and bribery in order to accomplish what I need to," Severus replied, not noticing or caring that Bella "Crucio" Black was about to blow her top.

"Don't you _dare_ imply that I use anything close to 'pitiable tactics' to get what I want you, you-! Augh!"

And with that, Bellatrix pulled Severus Snape into a full-out kiss, tongue and all, unmindful of the fact that he was an inexperienced thirteen-year-old. His arms flailed, book flying, an awkward sound coming from him around the horrendous tongue assaulting his mouth. It was far from enjoyable for the boy.

Bella pulled back with a loud smacking sound, satisfied at his ruffled appearance, even if he didn't look the least bit happy.

"You'd better get that ingredient for me or I'll," she thought for a few seconds before an evil smile formed, "I'll do that to you again, in front of Lily-poo."

She cackled at Severus' astonished and horrified expression before skipping off to find someone more entertaining to snog. Maybe Lucius was around. She always did like making her reserved younger sister uncomfortable.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed Severus' discomfort! Lol! More to come soon!


	4. Lily Evans

A/N: Enjoy! This is set before Severus' fallout with Lily, just as she starts to become attracted to James.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 4: Lily Evans

Severus crept down the darkened corridor, alert to any sound not made by him. He occasionally ducked into an alcove when he heard a noise. It was a mistake to do so this time, as the nook he had jumped into at the latest sound was already occupied.

"James? Is that you?" A familiar voice whispered, and Severus stiffened and clenched his fists at the realization that his best friend had scheduled a secret rendezvous with his worst enemy. He was so angry that he was unable to reply, and his silence was mistaken as confirmation.

"Oh, James," a warm body cuddled close to him, and he started to feel vaguely uncomfortable at the situation, but this was _Lily_, his long-time crush, touching him _willingly_. He decided it couldn't hurt if he let it play out a bit longer. "You gave me quite a fright making me wait so long. I was almost sure Filch would find me out! Come closer."

Severus obliged and was yanked down to her. Was she going to tell him something in his ear?

"I love that you're so tall, but sometimes I wish you carried around a stepping stool. It would make this a lot easier," she muttered.

What was she talking about?

All thought drifted away as soft lips touched his. He shuddered at the sudden warmth and realization that _Lily_ was _kissing_ him. Kissing _him_!

The play of their lips was heavenly to Severus, and he couldn't help winding his arms about her.

"Oh, James," she sighed between kisses, and he froze.

This wasn't right. If Lily found out, she would be mortified, and probably never speak to him again. He had to leave before she discovered the truth. He broke away and swiftly ducked into another alcove not far down the corridor.

"James?" Her voice sounded puzzled.

"Right here, Lily," Potter's voice sounded out close by, making both Lily and Severus jump. "I'm sorry I was late. McGonagall was patrolling one of the hallways I had to go down for thirty minutes before moving on. I was about ready to try and make a break for it while her back was turned!"

A giggle sounded.

"Oh James, come here."

Severus didn't stick around to listen to their kissing noises. As he walked back to his dormitory, he felt equally relieved that he didn't get caught, disgusted that his friend was snogging Potter, and elated that he was finally able to kiss his love, if not under the best circumstances. All-in-all, it was an ok night.

A/N: Let me know what you think so far.


	5. Sybill Trelawney

A/N: Here we go again! This is set right after both Severus and Sybill are added onto the Hogwarts staff.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 5: Sybill Trelawney

Sybill couldn't help repeatedly casting her eyes down the table at the newest addition to the staff, besides herself. The young man had a certain aura about him, radiating out as if he were some dark, misunderstood hero from one of her romance novels, just biding his time before stealing his lady-love away unknowingly from danger. Of course, Sybil would already know what danger she was in, but it was the thought that counted.

She pushed up her thick glasses, a plethora of bangles jangling loosely on her bony wrist. She wished she could tell his fortune, maybe a bit of palm reading. She wondered at how smooth his hands were, whether they were warm and sweaty or cold and dry. She could tell a lot from someone's hands, and not just by looking at the lines on them. Either way, it would give her a good excuse to touch him.

He looked so unapproachable, so gloomy. She sighed.

"You may want to keep your distance for a while, Sybill. The young man has just lived through quite a tragedy, and was unfortunate to take an unknowing part in it."

Sybill had jumped at the interruption of her thoughts, blinking owlishly at the Headmaster. The knowing look in his eye made her wonder whether he had an affinity for Divination as well. She nodded and went back to her food, but the gears in her head were still turning in regards to the newest potions master. If he was so miserable he'd need a bit of comfort, wouldn't he?

Two months later, she encountered him on one of her rare excursions to the upper gardens, located not too far from her tower. It was good every now and then for her to refresh her inner eye with a vigorous breeze. She halted upon seeing him, looking over the battlement down to the ground below. He seemed lost to his own thoughts. It was the perfect time to implement her seduction.

"Severus, I sense something unexpected but pleasant will happen in your future," she stated in her mystic voice. His only reaction was to stiffen before turning to her with a sneer.

"I suggest you keep your inner eye to your own future, Trelawney. You might need to foresee what consequences could come from dabbling in something you have no right to. You've already done enough damage."

Sybill had no clue what the dark wizard was talking about, but it wouldn't do for someone of her powers to appear so. She wrapped her scarves about her in an act of intimidation, but it failed to cause any reaction besides a glare from the man. She shivered slightly. It had been so long since someone had attracted her. His presence was so strong. It seemed to draw her to him. She couldn't let this opportunity disappear.

She swiftly advanced on him in a way that shocked him so that he hesitated long enough for her to grasp his arms before he could fully withdraw his wand to hex her.

"Our destinies are intertwined, Severus, can't you feel it," Sybill breathed, embracing him fully and tilting her face up to him. He froze, not a little confused and horrified at the situation. This woman was older than him by at least fifteen years!

Before he could get away from her, she grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled his face nearer hers. Their noses clashed horrifically, but she tilted her head and eagerly smooshed her thin, puckered lips against his.

"Grrgnh," he exclaimed in disgust, brows furrowed and mouth resolutely shut against her tongue as it licked across his lips. He shuddered and finally was able to thrust her away from him, not caring any more that her grip on his hair had pulled out quite a few strands. He wiped his lips and scowled in disgust at the overwhelmed looking woman, her magnified eyes blinking fast behind her overlarge lenses.

"If you _ever_ do that again, Trelawney, I'll make it so no one will be able to find your body," he growled before stalking out of the gardens, no doubt retreating to the dungeons.

Sybill sighed as she slumped against a nearby wall. What a wizard.

A/N: Anyone else disgusted by this pairing? Poor Severus!


	6. Rolanda Hooch

A/N: Yet another delightful chapter.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 6: Rolanda Hooch

To any student who had taken flying lessons at Hogwarts (meaning every student), Madam Hooch was not a teacher to be trifled with. She was very strict on the rules of the game, unless of course a student managed to astound her in some way by a tricky move executed gracefully. She didn't allow jokes about her last name or her piercing yellow eyes and she never permitted students to stop practicing during their time with her.

To her colleagues, Madam Hooch was quite another person.

Her yellow eyes would glint mischievously, mind calculating what prank on which teacher would lift her spirits for that week. She was always looking for something to ruffle the feathers of her fellow stodgy, respectable-looking professors. She was quite clever at it as well, for, even after many years of teaching, she'd always been able to surprise her victim, no matter how many times she had tricked him or her before.

Seeing the new professors put an extra gleam to her eye. Other than for the cursed position of Defence Against the Dark Arts, it was rare to get a change of staff within less than a decade. They were to have three in this year alone, and two would hopefully be permanent staff for quite some time.

She decided to single out one each month, dispersed between the usual crowd of professors. She started with the DADA teacher first. That had been loads of fun, and the professor was now a bit skittish, even now oblivious to the person to blame for his humiliation.

The next was the Divination teacher. That had been no challenge at all. In fact, Rolanda didn't need to do anything, and the witch still managed to embarrass herself, especially when she dipped into the cooking sherry.

Her third, and the one she felt she would savor the most, was the Potions Master, a sober young man who sauntered about the castle in a way that seemed to suggest he had the world on his shoulders. She tried tripping jinxes, elaborate traps, and even a boggart, but he skillfully evaded each attack as though he were always on the alert for trouble. She'd even almost been caught by him one time.

The end of the month would soon be upon them, and Rolanda knew her reputation with all the other professors was at stake, as they were looking out for her victim as well. She knew it was time for a direct approach.

Dinner-time in the great hall after a Hogsmeade weekend always seemed to amass the most students at once, different tables chatting and sharing their experiences from in the village. Hooch felt this would be as convenient a time as any.

Arriving right in the middle of supper, banging the doors against the walls with the force of her entrance, she stalked up to the table, aware of the silence, the stares, and the fact that Severus Snape was already fingering his wand under the table. Suspicious bastard.

She stalked past him, causing him to relax his guard just enough that she was able to whip back around, hold down his wand hand, and plant a big kiss on his lips, right in front of the whole school.

It was brief but succinct, and Rolanda pulled back with a smirk, enjoying the deep scowl of the man before her.

"Never knew you had it in you, Snapey," she said loudly enough to carry. She then promptly left the hall, hoping he wasn't the type to hex a witch in the back.

For the rest of the school year students couldn't hold back sniggers when they spotted Professor Snape in close proximity to Madam Hooch (meaning in the same room), and they dearly paid for it (Severus was very generous when it came to detention giving and point loss).

Many speculated that the Headmaster's almost-permanent twinkle was born in that moment.

A/N: Don't worry. More to come! I love reviews!


	7. Aurora Sinistra

A/N: Here you go.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 7: Aurora Sinistra

Aurora had always been analytically curious about things. She approached all experiences in life as if each were a hypothesis waiting to be proven, for good or ill. Because of this, and her wish to be prepared in all things, she often found herself in the Library of Hogwarts, searching for background information that could explain logically the things she had experienced or wished to experience. She was a woman not prone to enjoying surprises.

This day, she was more curious as to physical responses of the body towards certain actions committed by others, as, over the past few months, she had experienced vast changes in her hormonal balance. Her body seemed to crave something unknown to her. Something like a connection or closeness. Because of this, today Aurora was researching on relationships. It was amusing to her logical thinking, that people could so easily misunderstand each other and create all sorts of problems in a relationship, according to the books she read. If one approached such a connection with a logical mind, surely nothing illogical would come about from it?

She hardly noticed in her zeal to research that another had graced the Restricted Section with his presence, but soon enough, the figure enshrouded in black caught the corner of her eye and she turned to see the resident Potions Master observing the section of books on illegal and dangerous potions. It was a rational action for him to do, considering his occupation. She turned back to her book.

She was soon peering at him once again through her lashes. His presence seemed to make itself known, even as the room was entirely quiet but for the rustle of far away books and parchment. She wondered if the man would help her to clarify some of the points in the book she was reading. Even she, with her methodical understanding, had to admit that some things had to be experienced in order to be known, instead of researched. She closed her book and calmly walked over to the Potions Master. She waited patiently for him to pluck out the book he had been searching for. She knew how frustrating it could be to be interrupted in the search for knowledge.

He turned to her, eyebrow raised in query.

"Professor Snape," she said coolly, "I was wondering if you might help me with some research I have been doing for the past few days. It requires the help of another."

No doubt the man was surprised, as Aurora was not one to seek help from another often. In fact she hardly ever spoke to anyone at all.

"What is it that I can assist you with, Professor Sinistra," his smooth tone of voice rolled over her in a way that led her body to react illogically. Maybe she was getting ill.

"I wonder if you might help me with a basic physical analysis of the romantic relationship between two people. It would only require a few kisses."

Both of the man's eyebrows shot up in surprise, even as logically worded as her words were.

"And why would you wish to … conduct this experiment with _me_?"

Aurora looked him over in calculation, "You are no doubt an experienced man in this matter, while not old enough to be considered repellent to one of my age as the Headmaster or Professor Flitwick would be."

The Professor looked her over. Aurora wondered what he thought when observing her.

"I see. What requirements will be needed?"

She let a small smile flit across her face before she turned serious once again. It was still flattering to her logical mind to know that he would go along with her plan.

"Just a kiss on the cheek, one on the lips, and what many have ascribed as a French kiss, though it is not known to have originated as a custom in France even as they gave it such a name."

"Indeed, and where would you suggest we partake in this experiment?"

"This venue should be acceptable," she replied, hoping to sound more stable than she felt. The man looked around, noticing the lack of patrons to the library and the privacy the restricted section afforded. They were very unlikely to be interrupted while still keeping to a neutral ground.

"Very well," he said blandly, and it suited her, for there were no special feelings of attraction on her side other than the excitement of knowledge soon acquired. She wouldn't want to lead him on.

She efficiently transfigured a bit of parchment into a stepping stool. It wouldn't do for the man to injure himself bending over to accommodate her. He was quite tall.

She stepped onto her stool as he stepped closer. It was unnerving to be able to look such an intimidating man square in the eye, and from close proximity. She shook off any emotion. This was to be an impartial experimentation.

Aurora leaned forward and pressed her lips to his pale cheek. After a second, she pulled back to note his expression. It hadn't changed. She catalogued her experience silently, noting that, while his cheek was firm, it was soft and warm, and the end of her nose was warm where it had touched his cheek as well. It was pleasant, she supposed.

With unspoken permission through eye contact, Aurora leaned in once again, making sure to keep her eyes open as to make sure she was placing her lips in the right spot. They met his and pressed close before retreating after a couple seconds. Aurora noted the slight give to each of their mouths when touching, the slight pull when separating, as if lips were inherently magnetic. She also noticed a slight tingle left behind from the contact, not unpleasant. Interesting. If one were more intimately familiar with the other person's character, the experience might be felt with more intensity.

Aurora looked to the man's unmoving expression, though his eyes conveyed that he was ready to be set upon once again. She marveled that she had come upon a man just as impartial to this experiment as she was. It was perfect.

She leaned forward, pushing away unnecessary nerves. This was science. There was only room for discovery here.

Their mouths touched again, much like the kiss before, except in this one, their lips were to move, and eventually open for tongues to participate. Aurora obligingly did her part, moving her lips softly over his. She was almost surprised to feel his participation. She had almost expected to do all the work herself, considering how unmoved he had been this whole time.

Their lips parted and tongues met, Aurora noting that, while a bit ungainly, she could get used to this kind of kissing. It certainly brought about more of the tingling. The kiss was wet and warm, and highly sensory, especially as her eyes had closed involuntarily.

She pulled back after a little less than a minute, slightly breathless and smoothing her dark hair back needlessly in order to collect herself.

"Yes, well, thank you, Professor Snape for assisting me in this endeavor. It has been very enlightening."

"Indeed. Very enlightening," he replied, "But I would suggest, next time, that you find a partner who is less impartial. The experience will be quite a … shock to your system."

She noted his expression, the slight smirk on his face, and frowned slightly.

"Good day, Professor Snape," she said, before turning to leave the library, her small pile of relationship books forgotten.

Impartial indeed. If the man had a more even-tempered character, he'd probably be laughing at her by now.

A/N: Hope you liked it. It was quite a challenge to write this type of analytical character down, but fun, all the same.


	8. Pomona Sprout

About the last chapter: some of you had questions about how Severus would ever accommodate Aurora without much protest. I thought that, considering most of his previous kisses were forced upon him, he wouldn't mind the experimentation. He gets to keep his dignity intact as well, since he isn't the one asking. I hope that clears things up.

A/N: And on to the next. Maybe I should send Severus a bit of chapstick. He sure is getting some lip action!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 8: Pomona Sprout

Pomona smirked and wiped her dirt-caked hands on the front of her apron as she observed the Potions Master. He was eyeing the small tray of Cobra Lilies with a look akin to lust. The plants where rare to be seen, let alone in the UK.

"How did you come across these?" he asked in a hushed tone, lightly stroking the back of one. It hissed and nipped at him, which would have been deadly if they were fully matured. As they were, it would be a few weeks before they hit majority.

From a distance the plants looked no more than sagging brown weeds, blowing in the wind. Up close, they were scaled reptilian specimens with black beady eyes and an infinite use as a potions ingredient. One could use the scales, eyes, venom, tongue and even the flesh in various ways to enhance certain potions. The scarcity overruled the usefulness of it though, and such potions requiring the ingredients were often not brewed more than a few times a decade.

Pomona had a whole tray of them.

"A friend owed me a favor," she said to the man with a grin. She knew she could have so much fun rubbing in his face the fact that she could get something like this before him.

Severus' fingers twitched as he lowered himself to observe the plants at eye level. He really, really wanted some, if not all of them. He was almost tempted to nick one, but it would be unwise to do something that might damage the tenuous bond between him and the Herbology Professor. It was hard enough getting permission to harvest the more common magical plants she grew for his potions ingredients. Pomona treated her plants like they were her babies.

As he observed the sinuous way the Cobra Lilies twined around each other, hissing, he could almost see why. These plants just seemed more _alive_ than most of the regular greenery. It was just like Hagrid with his motley collection of questionable creatures. He seemed to form a special bond to them, much like a mother dragon to her egg.

Severus scoffed to himself at the image of Hagrid trying to hug a full size dragon. Even as a half giant, the man would be burnt to a crisp in one breath.

Severus knew that there must be some other reason besides wishing to torture him that Pomona wanted to show him the plants. He knew she wasn't that cruel.

"What do you want," he said bluntly, not taking his eyes from the tray, as though it might be some kind of hallucination that would evaporate the moment he looked away.

"Hmmm," Pomona tapped her lips as if in thought, but Severus knew she had this all the way planned out. "I seem to recall a potion in the book, _Living Soil_, which causes a plant to grow at twice the speed with only one drop."

"Ah, yes, a fertilizer using the crushed fang of a Cobra Lily, if I recall correctly," Severus prompted, willing the witch to get on with it, but not wanting to make her mad by being too impatient.

"Yes, that's the one," Pomona smiled, "and seeing as I'm pants at brewing, I figured I could look to you for help."

"You may, for a price," Severus smiled back, though his was more like a shark towards its next meal.

"Of course, you may keep whatever is left of the Cobra Lilly once you've harvested its fang, as well as two of your very own to keep. I understand that this potion is not the easiest to brew."

Severus nodded, already studying each plant closely for the two he wanted for himself, as well as the one for the potion. The fertilizer would take three weeks to brew, in order to reach its full potency, and there were quite a few steps in the beginning of making it that required finesse when it came to time and amount. Severus wondered if he could harvest the fang without killing the plant. If so, it would be invaluable to him. Then he wouldn't have to map out what other parts of the Cobra Lily he needed to harvest for various potions that would need those ingredients fresh.

A month later Severus entered Greenhouse 7 to find Pomona there doing a little happy dance in front of her Flutterby bushes. He leaned against the doorway and watched, just waiting for her to notice him. When she turned in the middle of her dancing she gasped and clutched her chest in alarm.

"Severus," she scolded, once she'd calmed down, "I didn't know you were here."

"Indeed," Severus replied with a raised eyebrow. She scoffed and waived him off.

"It's no time to get shirty with me, young man. Come look! Look at what the potion has done!"

Severus came closer to the bushes, only to notice there were multiple buds all over them.

"It only blooms once every century, and these were recorded to have bloomed only forty years ago, but, with the addition of the potion, the buds have sprouted up sixty years early!" Pomona reached out and stroked a nearby bush, which quivered and shook accordingly. Severus wondered if she would start talking to it after a while. He cleared his throat to remind her of his presence, just in case.

"Yes, I can see how this is important. The Flutterby bloom is quite valuable as a potion ingredient, particularly in love and lust potions."

Pomona glared at him, "I'll not have you tearing every bloom off for your little experiments, Severus. Don't you understand? This is history in the making! I can't wait to write about it for the _Herbal Digest_! At this rate, they'll be blooming by next weekend!"

She looked up at the man next to him and, her excitement full to bursting, pulled him down and rained kisses all over his face. As soon as he recovered from shock he shoved her back from him, trying to ignore her twinkling eyes. He just knew she was laughing at him inside.

"Try to control yourself, Madam," He snarled as he turned to leave. He'd come back for the ingredients he was going to collect some other time. There was no way he was going to stay around and get harassed. He paused at the doorway, a smirk blooming on his face, and without turning back, said loudly, "I'll be back next weekend for those blooms."

With that, he was out the door, Pomona Sprout's glare almost tangible from behind.

A/N: Sorry if you're disappointed in there not being a passionate kiss, but I can't quite imagine it between these particular characters. Eugh…


	9. Irma Pince

A/N: Enjoy!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 9: Irma Pince

Irma strode swiftly and silently through the darkened library, robes billowing and ears tuned sharply in order to catch any sort of rustle that would hint at a wayward student. The library had closed minutes ago, but the irritable cretins liked to try her nerves by lingering in order to finish their last-minute essays.

She used her large, hooked nose to sniff, making sure that no food was ingested while she had been in other parts of the library. Food in her sanctuary was not to be tolerated. Indeed, it was one of the things that irritated her most. Students had no respect for the precious, centuries-old books kept in these hallowed halls. She shivered at just the thought of their grubby crumb-laden hands brushing over each page, bending corners and tearing in their haste to get their work done. It made her want to keep the library closed some days, but Dumbledore would never allow it. If only the students were all like the studious and careful Ravenclaws, or even the Granger girl (though she had almost banned her after finding out she had torn a page from one of the books in her second year, never mind that it had saved lives by giving the irritable Potter boy a clue that a Basilisk was wandering the halls).

Irma sighed in relief as she finished her circuit with no incidents. The other teachers would be patrolling soon.

She made her way to her rooms, and once there, put a kettle on for some tea. She had just finished steeping it when there was a quiet knock on the door. She straightened her hair before moving to answer it.

"Come in," she beckoned, and the resident Potions Master crossed her threshold. "You're here earlier than usual."

"Rolanda offered to cover my rounds tonight. I think she was worried I'd assign another Quiddich player a detention on the day of their game. The Slytherin-Ravenclaw match is this weekend. Will you go?"

Irma smiled at him, a look that rarely ever graced her face. "I would, if I could ever trust to leave my library open without supervision. As it is, I'm afraid someone will try to set fire to it soon, whether or not I'm there. Students are a rather volatile lot, as I'm sure you know, Severus. Tea?"

He nodded and she fixed them each a cup, before settling in a chair across from him. She studied him quietly for a while as he relaxed and drank from his cup.

"You haven't been eating," she said, and he gave her a look. She raised her eyebrows in response. "No matter how much you hate the fact, Severus, I do worry about you. I can see that something's stressing you lately. It's not …" she gestured questioningly to his left arm, and he folded both of his arms in an unconscious way of trying to hide it. They both knew what was on his arm.

"I haven't been summoned. Not yet."

Irma noticed his ambiguous phrasing and narrowed her eyes. "Not yet, but soon. Am I right?"

He reluctantly nodded, picking his tea back up to occupy himself. Irma knew he wouldn't accept her coddling him. Hell, she didn't think she even knew how to, after all this time.

"It'll turn out alright in the end, Severus. You are strong. If any man had to do this, I know of no one more capable than you."

He nodded in thanks and they finished their tea in silence. Their nights usually ended like this. There just weren't words sometimes to express the situation.

Soon enough, both were done with their tea. They headed to the door, but before Severus could open it, Irma tugged on his sleeve. He looked to her, his eyes softening a little. She smiled once again and reached up to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

"You'll be fine, Severus."

He hesitated before briefly smoothing a hand down her black hair.

"Thank you, Mum."

With that, he was out of the door, and she was closing it behind him, sighing as she leaned against it. She wished there was something she could do for him. For now, she would transfer all her worry to the books of her library.

A/N: If any of you were surprised or curious, it has been speculated that the name Irma Pince could be an anagram for 'I am Prince', or 'I'm a Prince' leading some to think Madam Pince could be Eileen Snape in hiding. I think it's quite an intriguing idea, and so I've decided to use it in this case. Their physical description is also eerily similar as well, giving another nudge towards this theory.


	10. Nymphadora Tonks

A/N: Another little piece for your enjoyment.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 10: Nymphadora Tonks

"Is that the best you can do, _Nymphadora_?" The Potions Master sneered as he deflected her _Locomotor Mortis_.

It's Tonks, you wanker," the woman with purple hair shouted back, sending a vicious stinging hex that weakened Severus Snape's shield charm. She knew he was tiring from his heavy breathing. It matched her own. She needed to get the drop on him before this duel ran too long. It was time to throw a few non-verbal spells. She crept around the side of the overturned table while distracting Snape with a levitated pile of books hurling in his direction. He froze them and let them gently float to the floor unharmed.

"I can see now why you were banned from the Hogwarts library. Obviously you didn't use books for reading."

Her distraction didn't work out as she thought it would, and she quickly tucked and rolled behind an armchair as a stream of fire was sent her way. She hissed and padded out the flames that caught on the tail of her robes. This wasn't working quite how she planned. She needed to do something he wouldn't ever expect.

He was smirking and standing out in the open, knowing it would irritate her to see that she was the one who had to duck and dive behind various objects in order to fight him. She observed him for a moment as he stood gloatingly, before coming up with a devious plan. Hopefully Remus wouldn't be too mad.

She sent a few other hexes his way, just to give him no hint that she had another plan, and he deflected them with ease.

"I'm starting to grow bored. Don't make me come after you," he drawled, flicking his wand to move the chair from in front of her. She waited until the last second, before quickly charging him.

From his widened eyes, he obviously hadn't expected a physical confrontation. He was the greasy bat of the dungeons after all. He grunted at the impact on his midsection, wand still grasped in one hand as they fell back onto the threadbare carpet. Tonks noted his narrowed eyes and open mouth and knew he was about to curse her good. She did the only thing she could to stop him at this proximity: kiss him.

He struggled for a bit until her tongue slid into his mouth. At that he froze and Tonks pulled back, her wand trained between his eyes, a triumphant smile on her face.

"That was underhanded," he growled out, scowling.

Tonks huffed. Only Severus Snape would be pissed off about getting snogged.

"I'd say it was Slytherin-like," she replied with a smirk, "I won."

With that, she got up and flounced out of the Black library before he could reply. It was a bonus that he would have to clean everything up by himself.

A/N: I definitely would use that tactic as well, if I were her! Lol. I hope you enjoyed that.


	11. Minerva McGonagall

A/N: Here we go again…

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 11: Minerva McGonagall

Minerva giggled and batted at one of the fairy lights playfully.

"Don't get cheeky," she slurred, blinking hard in an effort to focus. The Weasley twins and Mr. Lee had obviously gotten their hands on the punch bowl. Not that she cared at the moment. It had been a while since she'd let her hair down.

Her snort of laughter turned into a hiccup and she made her way back to the punch bowl in a way reminiscent of a box-step. A little more shouldn't hurt. She was awfully thirsty in this stuffy room. Besides, she wanted to distract herself from the way that Karkaroff fellow was looking at her. It was giving her the creeps.

She eventually made it to the punch bowl with just a few missteps, only to find the dark-haired potions master brooding there. She tipped her pointed hat in salute to him before pouring herself a glass of punch, managing to avoid getting any on her dress robes, but a liberal amount ended up on the ground. She held up her glass at eye-level and frowned when she saw that it was only a quarter of the way full. Shrugging, she tipped it to her mouth and drunk it down in one gulp.

"It's not spiked," she observed, frowning at the mild taste of the punch.

"I think you've had quite enough for tonight, Minerva," the man beside her drawled with a smirk. She'd get him later for laughing at her. What was his name again? Oh, yes.

"Shevrus, it's no time to be as prim as a virgin on her wedding night. We can all relax now that Mr. Potter has finished the first task."

"It remains to be seen whether he can accomplish any others. I have speculated that the Hungarian Horntail was sick that day."

"Oh, Sevvie, you're so droll sometimes. Do give the boy an ounce of credit. My knees would be knocking if I ever had to be in a situation like that."

"Some Gryffindor," the man muttered, but Minerva ignored it as a new song started. She bounced on her heels and squealed at the familiar notes.

"I love this song! Dance with me," she demanded, not noticing the consternation on the man's face as she dragged him onto the dance floor. He held her stiffly as she swayed to the music, glaring at anyone who so much as looked their way. She knew he was uncomfortable, but still gentleman enough not to lambast her for her actions right in the middle of a ball.

They finished the dance with as much grace as could be expected from a drunken woman and a man who had no desire to do so. Minerva smiled and looked around the room from them, but frowned as she noted the hulking figure headed their way.

"Oh damn," she muttered, "here comes Karkaroff. Get me out of here." She dragged Severus with surprising strength through the other dancers and out of the Great Hall, to the gardens outside. Peering over Severus' shoulder, she noted that the man continued to follow them, undeterred.

"What do I do," she muttered under her breath like a mantra, looking around for something to use as a weapon just in case.

"I'm sure there's no need to worry, Minerva," Severus smirked, "Karkaroff just wants to further his interschool _relations_. Oops, I mean relationships."

Minerva scowled at his intentional jab and stomped on his foot. Then she got an idea.

"You're brilliant, Severus," she murmured.

"It's a little late for buttering me up, isn't it," the dark-haired man growled as he rubbed his abused foot.

"Never mind that. Come here," She yanked his collar, causing him to drop his foot and stumble forward, right onto her lips. He flinched and immediately tried to pull back, but her iron grip on his robes held him there.

"Mmmmrmph," he managed to intone in surprised horror against her mouth.

Finally she let him go and he gasped for breath before glaring down at her. Minerva paid him no mind, looking around for a few moments before smiling with satisfaction.

"All gone," she mumbled to herself, a triumphant smile on her face.

"Don't think I'll ever allow you to accost my person again, Minerva, drunk or not."

"Of course not," She replied back, unaffected at his threatening tones. She made her way back into the ballroom, heading straight towards the punch bowl. Maybe someone had spiked it again while she had dragged Severus away.

A/N: Something a bit funny. Friends and rivals deserve a bit of teasing…


	12. Molly Weasley

A/N: And another…

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 12: Molly Weasley

Severus trudged through the door to Grimauld Place late one evening, only to pause as he heard the voices and merriment taking place in the kitchen. The broken down house wasn't usually so busy at this hour, a fact that Severus could count on when he needed a safe place to recover from exposure to the _Cruciatus_ or other, more vindictive curses. As it was, he was limping and in need of a place to lie down fast, before his muscles gave out on him. It was only sheer will that kept him up tonight. The Dark Lord had not been pleased at his lack of information, following the fact that Arthur Weasley had been rescued and the Order of the Phoenix alerted to the fact that he was snooping around the Department of Mysteries.

Severus scowled up at the flight of stairs he had to climb in order to reach the privacy of the bedroom delegated to him. Did all of the bedrooms have to be on the second floor? He almost gave in to the temptation to collapse on the couch in the library, just down the hall, if it weren't for the fact that his pride would never forgive him if he were caught there by someone. There was nothing left to do but climb.

He was on the fifth step, clutching at the banister and sweating profusely, when the volume of noise rose for a moment before being muffled once again. Someone must have left the kitchen. He grunted as he hauled himself up another step, hoping to go unobserved.

There was nothing for it. Someone was making their way up the stairs behind him. He stared ahead balefully, hoping they would leave him be, only to flinch in surprise and almost lose his grip on the banister when that someone grasped his arm steadily and helped him proceed to the next step. He turned to see the Weasley Matriarch looking at him with a stern look which belied the warmth in her eyes.

"Come, you must be tired," she clucked, thankfully ignoring the fact that he had already started to tremble. He quietly allowed her to help him up. Silence was the only way he would be able to get through this, and she seemed to know it as well.

Once at the top of the stairs, she allowed him to walk across to the door immediately to their right. He opened it and staggered to his bed with as much dignity as he could before carefully lowering himself onto it.

"I'll be right back up with a spot of dinner," she told him from the doorway and he nodded before lying back on the bed. If there was one thing he'd learned from interactions with the woman, it was to never refuse her mothering habits. The woman was relentless. Besides, though he never admitted it, the positive attention was always welcome, no matter that he always castigated himself over it afterwards.

He sighed and finally allowed himself to relax the muscles that had been taxing his endurance. His whole body trembled and he had to focus on not clenching his teeth to avoid the headache that would no doubt follow. His eyes drifted shut and he lightly practiced his Occlumency skills as a means of further relaxing himself. He would have time enough to go over the meeting tomorrow.

He must have been drifting in and out of a light doze, for, the next thing he knew, a tray was being placed at his bedside table. He managed not to flinch, keeping his eyes closed and breath steady in order to trick Molly Weasley into thinking he was asleep. No doubt she'd try to get him to talk about his _feelings_ if she caught him awake.

To his surprise, after placing a stasis charm on the tray to keep his food fresh, he felt the woman brush strands of his long, stringy hair back from his face and press her lips to his forehead.

"Thank you for being so brave, Severus," she whispered, before leaving the room. He heard the door quietly slide shut before his eyes shot open. Did she know that he hadn't been asleep?

Seeing as that question wouldn't be answered unless he confronted her, it was a moot point. He looked to the tray at his bedside. There was a hearty soup and some bread, no doubt made fresh that morning by the woman. He snorted as his eyes took in the small sprig of wildflowers lying on one corner of the tray. Really, the woman was overly sentimental.

He laid his head back down on the pillow, deciding that sleep was more important than sustenance at this point. The food would keep.

A/N: This one just flowed out of me. I don't usually get the opportunity to develop Molly Weasley's character, so this was quite fun. I hope you liked it.


	13. Dolores Umbridge

A/N: Here comes a fun one… The moment you all dreaded. Lol.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 13: Dolores Umbridge

"Hem, hem," the unmistakable sound of Dolores Umbridge clearing her throat was heard clearly in the quiet of the Potions classroom. "It would not bode well for you to ignore me, Severus Snape."

He continued to put away the ingredients left out by the more negligent students who had just deserted the room not a minute before. After an uncomfortable minute, the woman continued on as if she had his undivided attention.

"Now that I am Hogwarts High Inquisitor, there are going to be quite a few changes," the woman paced the classroom in her pink wool suit, slowly drawing nearer to the man who seemed to neither listen nor care. "I wonder, given your way of teaching, whether you have any _suggestions_?"

The last word seemed to carry an obscene amount of innuendo in it, and her hand smoothing over his shoulder firmly cemented the fact that she was indeed implying something more than a change of the school system.

He turned to her, his face stone-like. "My suggestion, Madam, would be to leave my classroom."

The woman let out a shrill giggle, her tiny eyes glinting from her rounded face. "So, you're like this all the time? How delightful. I'm exceedingly intrigued. Tell me, is your bite as delicious as your bark?" Her lashes fluttered as she laid a hand over his left forearm, where they both knew his Dark Mark was. He sneered down at her even as he pulled his arm from her grasp.

"Unhand me, woman," he growled.

She smiled, "I'm glad you see me as one. I'll not be deterred. Now, where can we continue this conversation?" She stepped closer, invading his space, but he didn't even flinch, only looking down at her coldly.

Without a word, the man turned and left the classroom, robes billowing behind him. Umbridge smirked and licked her lips as she stared after him.

It was dinner time in the Great Hall when she next found him, and it wasn't hard to get a seat beside him. After a few minutes of staring loftily over the children before her as she ate, she turned to him.

"I don't believe we were able to finish our conversation earlier."

"On the contrary, that conversation was finished before it began." He replied sharply, glaring out at the student body.

"Testy," she smirked, laying a hand on his thigh, "I sense quite a bit of unresolved tension. I'm very good at, shall we say, easing the way for those I favor." Her hand started to slide higher.

"Are you being deliberately stupid, or is this a natural inclination?"

At this, her pink-tipped nails dug into his upper thigh, but he showed no sign of feeling it.

"You may want to check what you say, Severus. I can make this year unpleasant for you if so inclined." Her tone was light but her eyes warned him.

He raised his brow, "Your previous _suggestions_ have led me to believe you are already doomed to make this year unpleasant for me. _I'm_ inclined to think that anything else would be relief in comparison."

With that, the Potions Master stood abruptly, startling many of the other teachers at the head table. He stalked out of the Great Hall, Umbridge's narrowed eyes staring after. She was far from finished with him.

Months later, Dolores watched from behind her desk as Severus entered the office.

"You have it?" she asked, unable to keep an eager note out of her voice. He set a small vial down on her desk. "Excellent. I don't suppose you'd like to prove its effectiveness?" She tittered at his dark look. Standing up and walking around the desk, she plucked up the vial and scrutinized its contents. The clear liquid swirled as she shook it lightly.

"It is quite a small amount," she observed with a moue of disappointment as she set it back down on the edge of the desk.

"Unless you wish to render all of your suspects insensate, I recommend you give them no more than the required dosage of three drops." The man observed her plates covered in bounding, mewling kittens with distaste.

"There is _someone_ I do wish to render insensate, but not with a potion." Her lascivious look at him only validated her implication.

"I sometimes wish to _Stupefy_ Mister Potter as well," he replied, deliberately obtuse.

Her tinkling laugh filled the room, and she drew closer to the austere man, walking around him as he stood still.

"While I appreciate your candor, I believe you are smart enough to catch on to what I really mean. I am Headmistress now, Severus, a position that enables me to do almost anything I might wish to. Indeed, the Minister has approved of everything I've been doing of late, for the benefit of Hogwarts, of course. But, if there was anything you might wish, I'm sure we can come to an agreement."

"I can manage for myself, Madam," he replied distastefully.

Dolores scowled. "You will call me by my name, and you _will_ succumb to my wishes, Severus," she replied sharply. "Now, are you going to come to me willingly or am I going to have to resort to tying you up first?"

Even as she said it, her wand twitched and ropes flew out to bind the Professor to the chair behind him usually reserved for wayward students. She smirked as she looked at her handiwork. The Potions Master only scowled.

"I've made the decision already for both of us. I rather like the idea of you at my mercy," She leaned forward, brushing her lips across his cheek, even as he turned his face away from her. "You will give in to me, Severus," she breathed into his ear, before kissing it as he shuddered in revulsion.

Before he could hex her with the wand he had just wordlessly drawn from his sleeve, the door burst open to allow Argus Filtch in, panting as though he had run a long distance.

Dolores stepped away from Severus, frowning.

"I told you to knock before entering, Argus," she said impatiently, "Now what is it? I'm busy."

The arthritic Squib took in the scene with a scowl of jealousy before returning to the matter at hand, "I found out where the little blighters have been going for their meetings, Headmistress. Soon enough we'll catch one of them on their way out and sit them down for a nice chat. Then it's off to the dungeons with them! I've been oiling the chains so they'll be nice and ready."

"Excellent! Please show me where it is, Argus," She turned back to Severus and flicked her wand so that the ropes which bound him flew back into her wand. "We aren't finished here, Severus."

With that, the pink-clad witch sauntered out after the hobbling old man and his cat.

Severus surveyed the room with a scowl as he rubbed his wrists. There was no time like the present for revenge. He spotted the bottle of Veritaserum on the edge of her desk and smirked. Standing, he casually made his way over to the desk and flicked the vial with his finger so it fell to the floor, shattering.

"Oops," he said softly, observing a month's work ruined with satisfaction before stalking out of the office, eyes glittering. It would be best to make himself scarce for the next few days.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this one! It took me a bit longer to get this out as I have never really written something with Umbridge in it before. I hope I captured her character correctly. I did make her a bit of a deviant in this, didn't I? I figured that, by this time, she was already leaning toward Voldemort's philosophies, if not completely immersed in them already. It wouldn't be so hard to believe she'd be attracted to a Death Eater. Anyways, please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for your support!


	14. Narcissa Malfoy

A/N: Here goes again! Enjoy!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 14: Narcissa Malfoy

Narcissa Malfoy watched Severus retreat to the dark corner of the room as she held her son close. The man was trembling, though even that was now fading behind the cold exterior he always seemed to hide behind these days. He had done far more than should be required of him today. She felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that it was mostly her fault he was in this state, but she wouldn't change what was done. Not if it meant she might not have gotten her boy back in her arms this night. It had been too close and terrifying for her to leave it up to chance.

"The Dark Lord will want to hear of your triumph first hand," she murmured softly, not wanting to startle him. The words carried easily across the sparsely furnished room. Spinner's End mightn't be the most hospitable of places to rendezvous, but it was Secret Kept and that afforded more comfort than any amount of chintz or brocade.

The dark-haired man nodded his acknowledgement of her words, but stayed seated, staring off in the distance determinedly, as if gathering himself in. She could imagine he was experiencing quite a bit of turmoil. Severus had always been a man behind the scenes, contributing in research and creating potions rather than participating in the revels and dirty work the Dark Lord required of most Death Eaters. There was no way he could have been prepared, even knowing the likeliness of this possible outcome. Once again, Narcissa felt the dual combination of fierce gladness and crippling guilt caused by her choice of protecting her son at the expense of a friend's morality. She didn't think he'd ever killed before.

She ran her hand soothingly over Draco's locks one more time before approaching the Potions Master. He was seated on a threadbare couch, and she sat next to him, hesitating before placing her hand on his. He turned towards her, his eyes sunken in to his gaunt face. It appeared as though he wasn't eating or sleeping properly. She would have to send one of her House Elves by to take care of him for a while.

"Severus, you can't know how appreciative I am of you right now. You will always be family to me, and I'm sure if Lucius were here, he would say the same," she hiccuped, trying to keep her tears at bay.

"As you are to me, Narcissa," he intoned quietly, "No child should be asked to do such a task."

She nodded and gripped his hand as she wiped away her tears with the other. Leaning forward, she kissed him gently on each cheek before standing up to go, her hand leaving his. She walked back over to her son, putting her arm around him and leading him to the door. Before she crossed the threshold, she turned and nodded her head at Severus. He nodded back, and she left before she dared to try and interpret the emotion in his eyes.

A/N: Sad, I know. Review anyways, ok?


	15. Pansy Parkinson

A/N: Ready for another round? Here goes! You'll get a kick out of this one...

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 15: Pansy Parkinson

Pansy Parkinson watched the Headmaster from her place at the Slytherin table. He stood apart from everyone, distant even to the staff who sat next to him, his expression cold. He looked powerful. She licked her lips. She had always been a sucker for those who had power.

She cast a sideways glance at the bedraggled Malfoy heir with a moue of disappointment. She thought of all the hard work she had done to make him feel as though she were an indispensable part of his life, only for him to become washed out, his family resorting to bowing and scraping, no longer entrenched as one of the Dark Lord's favored. She sniffed haughtily before turning her gaze back to the Headmaster. There had never been a reason to question whether _he_ had been disloyal. Well, at least there was no question of it now, after what he had done to Dumbledore. Maybe she could find a reason to visit him in his office.

"Enter," his voice drawled, sounding just as it used to when she was ushered into his office for a reprimand or commendation.

She sauntered in, making sure to walk across the room to his desk in the most seductive way possible, though it was lost on him, his concentration on the pile of documents spread across his desk. She tried to peek at them inconspicuously, but he looked up at that moment and the opportunity was lost.

"Well? I am a very busy man at the moment Miss Parkinson. Do you have another incident to report concerning misconduct of the other students?" He noticed her hesitation and his eyes narrowed.

"Are you reneging on your decision to accept the Prefect position? I had thought I could rely on you to keep order within your house," his mouth was turned down in displeasure, but, it had always seemed so, unless he had an opportunity to one-up the Boy Wonder. Such entertainment was not available at the moment, and Pansy wished she could be the one to personally deliver the pathetic boy to him. Oh, the many ways he could repay her. At his side she would usurp even her parents in the eyes of the Dark Lord.

"Oh, no, Headmaster Snape, sir," she simpered, eyelashes fluttering, "I was actually here in hopes that I could help you even more. Is there anything I can do for you, something to help ease the strain you are under," she made sure her words were innocuous, but her tone, and the way she slowly smoothed down her robes conveyed a completely different meaning, one her clever professor couldn't misinterpret.

He raised an eyebrow, and then stood from his seat, and her heart raced, partly in terror, and in part, anticipation. It was one thing to plot, but quite another for her plans to bring about success so quickly. She had calculated that he would need a few more overtures before he gave in, but it didn't seem so now. She watched as he strode with purpose around his desk and to her side, frozen.

Smirking, he took her hand and brought it up to his lips, pressing them, dry and cold, to her skin. She shuddered, not sure she liked the sensation, before reminding herself what the end game would be. The physicality was just something to be got over with before she enjoyed the fruits of her labor. Her eyes glowed in triumph, even as he lifted his own glittering stare. It wouldn't be too tiresome, she convinced herself.

"I thank you for your sacrifice, Miss Parkinson. We are in times of great change, and many hands make light work," his deep tones were felt in her toes, and it took all she had to continue gazing into his eyes, the intensity in them unnerving. He stepped away and headed back around the other side of the desk, leaving her to blink in astonishment. He wasn't going to act on her offer now?

She stared as he sat in his chair and shuffled a few documents around.

"Ah," he said softly, startling her as he pulled a scroll from the stack. He offered it to her and she took it. Did he want her to sign a contract detailing their assignation? More than that, he already had one drawn up? She unwound the scroll and read it before blurting any assumptions, and it was a good thing she didn't. It was a list of the patrol hours given to each Prefect.

"Some of the other prefects have not been taking their responsibilities seriously," the dark-haired man spoke as he wrote in his spiky scrawl across several parchments. Pansy, still not understanding what was going on, looked down to the list, noting that the names Hannah Abbot, Ernie MacMillan, Padma Patil and Anthony Goldstein had all been scratched out. There were no Gryffindor Prefects, of course. "As the other houses appear blasé about needing order in this castle, it has come to Slytherin house to hold up the slack. I will require you to pick from those you deem sufficient to excel in this capacity. I will not tolerate Hogwarts to fall under my lead due to those I depend upon," he sneered, though it was not aimed at her. She blinked, before smirking. Sure, he hadn't conformed to her plans, but, in the end, she had still gained power. The other Slytherins would be rankled to know that they would have to follow her orders.

"Thank you, sir. You won't be disappointed."

"I expect not," he replied, his tone laced with warning. No, it wouldn't due to cross this man. He was quite powerful, after all. Pansy shuddered once again as she made her way out of his office. That much power was heady. Maybe she would talk to her parents about sending him a marriage petition once she graduated. She made her way back to the Slytherin dorms, eager to flaunt her authority.

Severus grimaced as he turned back to the scrolls on his desk, wishing to block out the last few minutes. The very idea that Miss Parkinson had just propositioned him made him gag. He'd rather _Avada_ himself. Ignoring the chuckles coming from Albus' portrait, he bent once more to his work. This tripe wouldn't sort itself out.

A/N: Well? Not quite what you expected? Or was it exactly what you expected? Lol. I am having so much fun playing with all these different characters. It certainly is refreshing. Thanks for reading. Please review.


	16. Poppy Pomfrey

A/N: And off we go again!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 16: Poppy Pomfrey

Poppy Pomfrey paced the Hospital wing steadily, trying hard not to be impatient. If there was one thing she'd learned after all her years in the medical profession, it was that healing took time. Yes, potions and charms did their fair share of work, but in the end, the body had to work itself out. If only she wasn't so familiar with her patient.

Severus Snape most likely held a record for the amount of hours kept in the hospital wing. From his first year, he was bullied and cursed by that brash gang of Gryffindors as well as fellow members in his house, and she didn't even want to know how many times he'd sullenly stalked in to the wing because one of his potions experiments went wonky.

Poppy allowed herself a small smile as she looked down on the pale man in the bed she was pacing by. He'd always enter with such an attitude that she almost suspected he blamed _her_ for his condition. He was such a difficult boy, but she knew that was all external posturing. The man she now stood watch over had as real and giving a heart as anyone she'd ever met.

Severus' visits to the hospital weren't always because of his own injuries. Since he'd become a professor, he had always stood vigil, just as she did now, when a student of his was seriously ill. The man liked to try his best to pull the whole world onto his shoulders sometimes.

She sighed as she looked down at him, his pale arms removed from the sheets in a way that she could see the Dark Mark on his left forearm. It was only a shadow of what it had been, a testament to the fact that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was now no more. If only she could convey that to her patient. No doubt that would stir him enough to wake.

If that wretched man were still alive, Poppy would now be one of the first in line to _Avada_ him. She'd seen his handiwork innumerable times, and always on her dear Severus. She'd patched the man up so many times while he was unconscious that it was a miracle he hadn't fallen apart already.

As she'd never had children of her own, Poppy treated the students of the school as though they were hers, scolding and tsking over them before coddling them. Severus was a special case, as he had been continually watched over by her even after his schooling. She now considered herself his honorary Godmother.

She sat by her patient, determined to wait as long as she needed to.

"I never thought I'd see the day when Madam Pomfrey fell asleep on the job. Clearly the profession must be lacking in excitement for you," a raspy voice pulled her up from her dreams. She blinked her blurry eyes to clear them before peering down into the face of the Potions Master on the bed. Two glinting eyes were peering right back.

"Oh tosh, Severus. There's no need to be so difficult all the time. I was just meditating."

"And meditation requires one to snore?" His smirk was slightly pained, as it pulled lightly on the still recovering muscles of his neck. He reached up to touch them.

"I don't snore," she replied sharply, slapping his hand away and smoothing down her rumpled apron before stooping closer to take a look at his neck. "Yes, it's recovering nicely, but there'll be a bit of scaring. How do you feel, young man?"

"Like Hell," he replied shortly, grimacing. Poppy conjured a glass and filled it with water before handing it over to him. She knew by now that he wouldn't accept her helping him if he had the strength to do something himself. He took small sips of the water, and Poppy winced in sympathy at how much it must hurt his bruised and sore muscles to swallow. The skin was almost completely knit back together, but it took a while for bruise paste to work on an injury such as his. When he was done with his water, he set the glass on the side table, but Poppy grasped his hand before he could withdraw it again to his lap. She squeezed it lightly, blinking rapidly to keep the tears in her eyes from falling.

"I am so pleased you're alive, Severus."

His eyes warmed then, the façade gone, and she noted quietly and wondrously that it wasn't going to be needed anymore. She leaned forward, smoothing the dark strands of hair from his face before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"You're free," she said softly, smiling, and his eyes sharpened as he caught her meaning.

"And the boy?"

"Safe, Severus. You have kept him safe."

Severus sighed, leaning his head back on the pillows, "People can finally go on living their lives now without that damn prophecy looming over their heads. Someone should lock Trelawney in a tower where no one will be able to hear her proclamations of doom," he paused for effect, as if contemplating something, "Ah, yes, I do believe we've done that, haven't we? Except for the students going there for classes and such, and who would believe such words from a student's mouth? It could be his way of skiving off of doing his homework."

Poppy smiled, straightening his sheets. It turned a bit cheeky as she looked down on him again.

"Now that you're fully recovered, there's been someone anxious to see you. I've kept him from you until now, but there's only so long that will be affective until he decides to sneak in here under his invisibility cloak."

Severus groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. Poppy thought she heard him mutter that he was cursed, but it was slightly muffled. She smirked, deciding not to remind him that, while he was in hospital, he would be eating hospital fare. She levitated a bowl of lumpy grayish porridge towards her.

"Open wide, my dear."

A/N: More to come! Tell me what you thought of this! Thanks for reading!


	17. Luna Lovegood

A/N: And another one! Enjoy.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 17: Luna Lovegood

Luna observed her former Potions Professor as he sat in a dark corner of The Three Broomsticks, morosely staring into his glass of Firewhiskey. Unfortunately, she had left her Spectrespecs at home, but if she had them at the moment, no doubt she would be able to see a swarm of Wrackspurts floating around him.

It was the one year anniversary of The Fall of Voldemort, and the members of the Order as well as those from Dumbledore's Army were gathered to reminisce and celebrate. The memorial for all those who had died during the war was held on Hogwarts grounds earlier that evening.

Luna had already talked to some of her former classmates, catching up with what was going on in their lives. Neville was now an apprentice to Professor Sprout, as she was eager to retire and fulfill her dream of collecting a wide variety of plant specimens for her own personal greenhouse. Lavender was currently a gossip columnist for Witch Weekly. Ronald was helping his brother George run the joke shop, which was still flourishing at an astonishing rate. The Weasleys would soon be one of the wealthiest wizarding families if their profit margin continued in the same manner. Harry was almost done with his Auror training, and months away from marrying Ginny, who was currently apprenticing as a Mediwitch for St. Mungo's. Hermione was apprenticing for the Arithmancy position that Professor Sinistra would soon be vacating, all the while campaigning for the rights of crossbreeds and magical creatures on the side.

Luna had taken over as the editor for _The Quibbler_, which was selling more copies than ever before. The magazine had expanded past magical beasts into other areas, such as interviews with various people on various subjects ranging from housekeeping to intellectual pursuits, and all without the help of a quick-notes quill. It was competing heavily now with _The Prophet_, given the latter's tarnished reputation from repeated varnishing and revision of the truth. Her father had met Professor Trelawney after the Battle of Hogwarts, and found her Third Eye to be most pleasing. She was enamored by his quixotic nature as well. They had skipped out on coming to the celebration this evening in favor of searching for Blibbering Humdingers in Professor Trelawney's quarters.

Luna hummed as she meandered slowly between the other guests and over to Professor Snape. It was the only way to approach a person infested with Wrackspurts without upsetting them.

"Hello Professor," she murmured, sitting slowly in the seat next to him. The Wrackspurts would get agitated at sudden movements. Professor Snape looked to her with a raised brow.

"Miss Lovegood," he acknowledged, before turning back to his glass, lifting it and swallowing the last of its contents.

"That isn't helping," Luna replied, not deterred by his inattention. She was used to people ignoring her.

"Isn't helping _what_, Miss Lovegood," he almost snarled, plunking down the glass and glaring at her.

"If I'm not mistaken, Professor, you have quite an accumulation of Wrackspurts floating about you, affecting your judgment, and Firewhiskey won't get rid of them," Luna replied. She knew it was the pesky creatures affecting his attitude. Severus Snape was not meant to be so gloomy. In fact, Luna suspected he could be quite cheerful, were it not for the creatures constantly flitting between his ears.

"Indeed," the professor shot her a look she had seen many times before, a mix of confusion and disdain, "and how do I go about getting rid of these … Wrackspurts."

Luna ignored his tone. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't see the cause of his misery. She'd remember to owl him some Spectrespecs later, just in case the creatures decided to come back.

"Well, one way to do it is to laugh loudly. You have to mean it too. The Wrackspurts can sense it if you're not genuine, and that could just make things worse."

"I feel rather incapable of laughing genuinely at the moment, Miss Lovegood," he replied, looking around for Madam Rosmerta, no doubt for another drink.

"I understand. This infestation has had time to sink in. It's a good thing we caught it before it became too late. Eventually it can make one go mad. There are other ways. As you are unable to help yourself out of this, it is up to me to do so."

The Professor had stopped looking around for the Bartender, and was now looking at her with another well-known expression: incredulity.

"And how can _you_ get rid of my infestation?"

"Sometimes it only takes a little tickle or a hug to get rid of, but yours is a special case," Luna looked at his stormy expression, and decided to be merciful. The Wrackspurts might make him resist if she told him what she was going to do. She abruptly stood up, leaned over, and kissed him.

She could feel him stiffen as she pressed her lips against his. She didn't make any move other than to subtly pull her wand out and give it a little whirl and poke in the direction of his left ear. That should do the trick. She pulled back from the kiss to see her Professor's gob smacked face. They usually looked that way the moment the Wrackspurts cleared off and they could think clearly again. She smiled politely before pushing her chair into the table.

"Good evening, Professor. Just let me know if they bother you again."

With that she left his side and wandered over to the table that held Neville, Ginny and Harry. They were talking about the latest Ministry law banning the use of Mackled Malacaws as a means of intimidation or blackmail. Luna sat in an empty chair, content to listen, even though she knew that the Ministry itself used such creatures for its own benefit when a case in the Wizengamot went on too long. It would be one of the main articles of her upcoming edition of _The Quibbler_.

A/N: How's that for a chapter? Only one more chapter and an epilogue to go! Yay! Please review with your opinion so far! Thanks for reading!


	18. Hermione Granger

A/N: Finally, a kiss Severus can enjoy. I hope you enjoy it as well.

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 18: Hermione Granger

It took him two years to notice her as a woman.

Of course, Severus could never have denied that her intelligence was quite beyond her years, but she had been a student of his at one point in time, and so, when she came back to teach after a year spent recuperating from the war and reconnecting with her parents, he still saw her as such. As the new Arithmancy Professor, her classroom was in one of the towers. Therefore, his only glimpse of her was down the table during meals and sometimes when he made a trip to the library. As his habits were prone to stay the same, they never ran into each other, until one fateful evening when they actually literally ran into each other.

It was close to sunset, and he had been stalking through the corridors, having just come from the library and heading for dinner. He turned the corner, only to feel like he had the first time he'd caught hold of a portkey. His gut caved and in the blink of an eye he was flattened to the ground. Curiously, he didn't recall having loads of frizzy but fragrant curls covering his face the last time.

A low but feminine groan shook him from his memory, and he brushed the hair away to see that a woman was half sprawled atop him. She peeked up through her hair, her brown eyes widening before she rolled to the side and sat up. Brushing the multitude of curls from her face with a huff, she turned to him and gave a hesitant smile.

"I'm awfully sorry, Professor Snape. I was just heading to the library for a quick peek at something before dinner. I might've been going a bit faster than necessary."

Severus picked himself up and offered the witch his hand, a feat which surprised them both, but she accepted it willingly, her smile turning natural and warm. As she brushed herself off, he observed the nimbus effect of her hair in the waning sunlight glinting through one of the castle windows. It looked so soft that his fingers twitched, but he didn't dare to see for himself if it were so.

Severus realized belatedly that she was most likely expecting him to reply.

"On occasion, I have done so as well. In fact, I was just leaving from the Library this instant. I'm afraid if you kept on, Professor Granger, you'll find that Madam Pince is closing it for the dinner hour as we speak. I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunity to find what you are looking for afterwards."

She fairly gaped at him in surprise, no doubt because that was likely the most he'd ever said at one time to her, and in such a neutral tone that almost felt warm, considering the temperament of the speaker. He turned and started towards the stairs, hoping the walk would cool his flushing cheeks. He'd never been good at talking to attractive women…

He would have halted in surprise at that train of thought if not for the aforementioned woman matching his pace and coercing him into conversation. Not that it took much, as he was searching for anything to distract him from such appallingly shocking feelings.

If, over the next few months, he found himself varying his rigid schedule in order to have a few minutes of intelligent conversation with the Arithmancy Professor, well, no one else seemed to notice.

Severus was shaken at the depth of his loneliness the first time Professor Granger had to leave for the weekend. He hadn't known he'd grown so dependent on their conversation during meals and in the hallways. In fact, it irritated him enough that he left before pudding, something unusual during a time when he had learned to enjoy such a luxury.

When she was back on Monday, as if nothing had happened, he wondered whether she had felt any loss as well. Most likely not, as she had been celebrating Harry Potter's firstborn brat coming into the world.

It shocked and gratified him that night to find her knocking at his office door.

"And what brings the Arithmancy Professor all the way down to the dungeons?"

"Oh, hush, Severus, I was just getting something from the kitchens and I wondered if you were still awake. I've been thinking more about your theory on Moonstones, and wanted to run some things by you before I forgot."

"I see," Severus replied, not acknowledging that she had used his name for the first time, or that it pleased him immensely. He also chose not to show how smug he was at the fact that _she_ had searched _him_ out. He also did not want to put too much stock in the thought that, if she had been thinking more on his _theory_, she had inadvertently been thinking of _him_ over the weekend as well. Those things could be examined in detail later. For now he would just enjoy her company.

He moved back from the doorway to admit her in, willing himself not to sniff at her hair as she walked by. It wouldn't do to get caught. "And how was your weekend with Potter?"

"Oh, Merlin," she exclaimed, sitting none too gracefully on his couch, "I am so glad I never married into the Weasley family! There was never a moment's peace the whole time! That poor baby was passed around so much I might start nicknaming him the Quaffle!"

Severus smirked as he sat next to her, closer than he'd ever dared before. Their thighs were millimeters from each other. He reveled in the delicious tension as well as the sense of triumph that Hermione Granger enjoyed his company more than that of the Weasleys. He sank back into the cushions, prepared to enjoy an in-depth conversation with a most intriguing woman.

Weeks later, Severus found that he did have a heart, contrary to what most of the students felt, and that it almost beat out of his chest with fear when he saw Professor Granger fall backwards down the stairs.

He had stalked around a corner only to see her in a tug-of-war with Peeves over a book at the end of the corridor. He scowled, his pace increasing, robes billowing behind him. Only _he_ was allowed to aggravate Hermione, and only in order to bring about that flustered and flushed face he so enjoyed seeing on her.

"Give it back, Peeves! This is from the Library! Madam Pince will have kittens if it's in less than a pristine condition when I return it!"

"Ooooh! Greedy Granger needs her widdle book back, eh? What's she gonna give to poor old Peevesey?"

"A curse, if I have anything to say about it," Severus barked, causing both Peeves and Hermione's eyes to widen as they looked over at him. Peeves let go of the book and zoomed off, fearing retribution, and Severus noted with horror that the Arithmancy Professor was windmilling her arms for balance, before she fell back over the edge of the stairs.

Without even a second's thought his magic burst through him and he shot out to catch her before she made contact with the unforgiving stone steps.

Panting with adrenaline and fear, Severus hovered ten feet over the stairs with a trembling woman clutched in his iron embrace. He looked down at her face to see if she was alright.

He noted the high color in her cheeks, her eyes closed and breath ragged. He wondered for a few seconds if she had fainted. She whimpered when he adjusted his grip on her, her hands clutching the robes at his back.

Severus looked to her face again to see that her mouth was slightly parted, her head tilting back onto his arm. His eyes focused on those lips, and he unconsciously licked his own, tempted to taste her. He would never take advantage of a woman in distress, though.

"Are you ok, Professor Granger," he asked belatedly, his voice a little hoarse from overwrought emotion.

"Yesssss," she breathed out, her lashes fluttering. If it weren't for such a chaotic event, Severus would have thought she was … aroused. That couldn't be right.

"I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing, just to make sure," he said in a tone that brooked no argument. She nodded, snuggling up against him, her hair brushing sensuously against his neck and chin. Severus willed himself once again not to take advantage of the situation. He flew them all the way to the Hospital Wing, still unwilling to let her go.

After the incident, they kept company with each other more than before, often meeting at the end of the day in either of their offices, even just to grade papers together.

Severus found that, while she seemed to have become more comfortable with him, he was starting to feel less comfortable in a sense.

Severus wasn't familiar with the growing desire he felt. Not since Lily had he wished to kiss someone with romantic intentions. Even then, his feelings were even stronger than he ever recalled them being for his long ago friend.

Every accidental touch sent jolts of awareness through his body, and it happened so often that Severus wondered if they were truly accidental.

He would often find himself trying to concoct a potion during his free hours that would compare with the smell of her hair.

If this kept up, he'd soon be daydreaming during his lessons. That wouldn't do at all. Severus needed to come up with a solution and fast, or his reputation as dreaded Potions Master would quickly diminish in the wake of his overwhelming need for something more with the Arithmancy Professor.

It was in the middle of a Tuesday when he decided to act. He'd just dismissed his classes, and couldn't wait until the lunch hour in order to see her. He'd rushed up to her classroom, bursting in to find that unlike him, she still had class at that time. He should have known, but the little buggers could wait. He just couldn't.

"Professor Granger, if I could have a moment of your time?"

He made sure to glare at any students that were still staring at him as he escorted her from the room. As soon as the classroom door closed she turned to him, hands on her hips.

"Couldn't this have waited, Severus? They'll be out in half an hour for lunch. I don't see what could be so urgent that you would … oh," she stopped talking, distracted at the way he had pulled her against him, his dark eyes drawing her focus.

Severus saw the signs that his intentions were approved when a flush effused her face and her lashes fluttered slightly, her hands hesitantly sliding up his shoulders as if she were unsure whether to push him away or pull him towards her. He felt a wave of triumph fill him to his toes as he bent down to claim those lips he had craved for so long.

She put up no resistance, mouth opening to his in invitation, and he took it, groaning with longing. It had been so long since he'd felt this good. In fact, he could honestly say he'd never felt like this before.

Severus pulled back after a while, enjoying the look of her face flushed and eyes dazed by his advances. He felt as though he needed to say something.

"I can honestly say, Hermione, that I have never been the one to initiate a genuine kiss before. I have always been the receiver, and more times than not, an unwilling one. I find," his eyes traveled leisurely over her face in satisfaction, "That I am very much looking forward to exploring this further, if you'd be obliged."

Her reply was agreeable, nonverbal as it was. He was content for her to spend as much time communicating in this way as possible.

Of course, their snogging came to an abrupt end when they heard the shocked gasp of one of her students, no doubt checking to see if she was alright. They had been in the hallway for a quarter of an hour by that time. Severus glowered at the student, even as he smoothed down his rumpled clothes. She squeaked and ran back into the classroom, the door banging shut behind her. No doubt everyone at Hogwarts would know what had happened by the time lunch was over.

He looked down to see a thoroughly kissed Hermione Granger smiling warmly at him, raising her hands to run them through his hair in order to straighten it. He smoothed hers down as well, but didn't dare run his fingers through her twisting locks. They might get stuck. Not that he felt that would be so bad. It just wasn't appropriate for the moment. Their eyes locked once again, and Hermione reached up to press her lips to his once more before turning to sort out her classroom.

"Tease," he muttered, smirking. She looked over her shoulder at him, giving him a once-over that didn't do anything to abate his desire.

"I'll see you at lunch, Severus," and with her own satisfied smile, she let herself through the door.

Severus had never been so eager for lunch in his life.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! There's only the epilogue to go now. Please review!


	19. Epilogue

A/N: Here's the epilogue. Enjoy and thanks for all your wonderful reviews!

The Several Snogs of Severus Snape

Chapter 19: In Which Our Spying on Our Favorite Spy Comes to an End

Severus Snape had always been an outsider. At school, at work; even in his own home, growing up, he had been in the background. That was not to say he didn't prefer his situation. It certainly kept most, if not all, idiots from bothering him.

Hermione Granger was not an idiot.

Severus was a very intelligent man. Intelligent enough to know that he wouldn't mind if Hermione Granger bothered him every day for the rest of his life, if only she would be there to share it with him too.

In fact, he was sly enough to realize it was quite fun to bother her back, though his tact had been thankfully morphed from a form of sharp insults to playful insinuations.

In short, Severus was inexplicably, helplessly, inconceivably, irreversibly in love. And this time around, it wasn't one-sided.

It came as quite a shock to many, including a certain thick-headed red-haired young man, to see the irritable Potions Master calmly strolling down Diagon Alley, a bubbly Hermione strolling beside him with her arm intertwined in his.

When the bold ones suggested she might be under the influence of some potion or hex of some sort, she would calmly refute their claim before giving them a five second head start. It didn't really make much of a difference. Canaries were quite fast, and the ones out of her wand were reasonably trained to make the most of their freedom, pecking and squawking in a way that left no doubt of their mistress' irritation. They weren't needed after about a half dozen times. She'd gotten her point across.

And so, dear reader, you can now be assured that, while Severus had been content to be alone his entire life, he was perfectly satisfied with changing a few things in order to live a life of incandescent happiness.

Now leave the poor man alone, for Merlin's sake.

A/N: Keep an eye out for my next story. I'm almost finished writing it and it's quite a bit longer than this one. Then, once I push that one out, I can focus on the ones I've seriously neglected.


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